Women Who Travel

Comment by Katharine Bierce on August 16, 2009 at 8:05pm

Some thoughts on Cultural Homestay International's "Overseas English Tutor" program:

Overall, CHI is a decent program. They work with other programs (such as the World Education Programme) to place you into a host family for 1-3 months. My host family was a little kooky, but even notwithstanding problems, I am glad I went. I was in the French part of Belgium (near the city of Liege) during the month of July 2006.

My experience:
My host family was very different from my family. I am an only child; my parents rarely argue or yell, and while I do disagree with my parents about certain things, we get along. My host family was like a double-stepfamily: there were two teenage boys, who had a different father, and a teenage girl, who had a different mother.

My experience was definitely affected by these family dynamics and the time I went - July. First of all, most Europeans do not have air conditioning in their homes. You have to settle down and get used to it. More importantly, most of Europe takes summer vacation very seriously. I strongly recommend against doing a homestay or tutoring program in August, because it's prime vacation month.

My expectations were rather different than my host family's, which along with cultural and familial differences (e.g. yelling among siblings/parents) caused a lot of tension. I was all psyched to be an English tutor, and expected to be doing more teaching than learning. But remember, going overseas is very much a two-way street! Because my host siblings were not in school, they had no reason to "work on English" and I felt like a thwarted teacher. This problem was compounded by the fact that I didn't realize (until halfway through) that my host family said OK to hosting me as an exchange student and didn't really realize that I had signed up with CHI to be a live in English "tutor." Also, my host family had had several six-month or year-long exchange students before, and was going to have another one in the fall after I left (for a year). I was the only one there for a month.

All of this meant that I expected to be "helping out" by shopping and cooking American recipes from home, chatting in English (though I spent two months cramming enough French to chat in French if necessary. My host parents were more than happy to improve their English, but the kids weren't really as enthused. The boys played World of Warcraft almost all day, and the girl was online chatting with her friends almost as much. Luckily, my host sister was interested in languages and wants to be a translator, so we had some nice conversations.

After two weeks, when I realized what a huge difference there was between my expectations and my host family's, I also saw that I was guilty of being a "typical American" - wanting to do too much in too little time, being too work-focused and not people-focused. In retrospect, my homestay was more like vacation than anything else. Because I was expected to be an exchange student more than a teacher (largely thanks to it being summer), I realized I needed to chill out and not try to change my host family. (I made the mistake of suggesting a chore list, because the mother did basically ALL the housework and constantly griped about it, while the kids played games all day; they saw their summer vacation as vacation and saw no reason to help do laundry or make dinner, though they did occasionally empty the dishwasher and usually set the table. Obviously, family dynamics vary tremendously from family to family.) So I took some day trips, once with other exchange students, once with my host mother and sister, and twice on my own. It's pretty safe to travel in Europe alone during the day - provided you know the basics of the local language, have a good sense of direction, common sense, and some cash. I met some interesting people on the train in Belgium - Belgians, Germans, British, Dutch... A lot of people in Europe speak English, but it's polite not to take it for granted and to attempt to speak the local language. People smile at you when you say hello in their native tongue.

I have traveled to Europe with my AP European History class and also with my parents, and I've been to Alaska and Australia too. So I consider myself fairly well-traveled. However, you have to remember that when you are alone in a strange family in a foreign country, you will almost certainly get culture shock. I thought I'd be immune to homesickness, but it turned out I had a bad case. I saw Spiderman 2 with my host siblings and was overwhelmed with longing for New York, which is depicted in the film (I'm from NY suburbs, about an hour north of New York City). As they will tell you, the best way to deal with culture shock (because you have to deal with it, you can't make it go away) is to accept the differences as differences, not being worse things. I thought my host family was crazy. But in retrospect, some people argue more than others, and my own family is something of an aberration in terms of peace and stability (i.e. really stable). I found that just taking a walk by myself into town, by the river, etc., gardening (my host family had a garden), playing piano (they had a piano and I brought music), and consistently getting a decent night's sleep really helped. Sometimes you need to be alone for a little while before you can "go back." Day trips to other cities were also fun, because you can "come home" at the end of the day.

On the whole, though, I'm glad I went, and I learned a lot from the experience! Interestingly...the more I travel, the more I appreciate the USA.

Comment by Katharine Bierce on August 16, 2009 at 8:09pm

Other program advice on Cultural Homestay International, etc.

Overseas experiences (homestays, guided trips) are a varied lot. Each program (like each host family!) is different. Program lengths also vary; short and long trips have their pros and cons; I went on a month-long one. CHI offers 1-3 month stays for being an Overseas English Tutor, I think. I met some other exchange students (who were in the World Exchange Program, yearlong program) and they all said a year was much better than a month or even three, because you really get a sense of becoming part of the culture rather than observing it or being a guest in someone's home. I felt I didn't really become a family member - well, one can hardly expect that, in only a month.

Anyway, for $775 plus plane fare, a month in Europe through CHI was a great deal. You won't find cheaper programs for the length. I was also totally on my own; other programs might be more of an English-speaking enclave thing, where they take you around various cities, more like a sightseeing vacation than a serious cultural experience. I chose the latter, got major culture shock, thought my family was crazy, then realized how important dealing with people is, tried to let go, and relax and enjoy my stay in Belgium. (I can't tell you how nice it was to come home to America, where I'm really part of the culture. Many people say they love Europe and whatnot, but really being part of the culture is actually suprisingly difficult. If you go, you'll see what I mean. It's hard. But very worthwhile.)

If you or your child(ren) want a "serious cultural experience" and you have a year (e.g. after high school), you should take a year off and develop yourself as a person and all that good stuff. So go for as long as you can/want to/your wallet will allow. That said, a month is a whole lot better than nothing, unless you just want to go sightseeing and want a program that will take you all over Europe (e.g. learn Esperanto so you can stay with Esperanto speakers; talk to the Rotary International; or other programs)... in which case, go for that. But know what you want, and know what each program's specialty is.

The Overseas English Tutor program looked really good on paper (or rather, on Google, as that's how I found it!). However, because of the nature of CHI's business, they have to work with other programs to find you a place to stay. If you opt to travel with Cultural Homestay International, be clear in asking about how CHI found the family; know their expectations for you!! (They told me this but I didn't really listen until it was a little too late.)

Comment by R.D. on August 17, 2009 at 10:31pm

Katharine; thanks for sharing this. It's interesting how different our experiences often are from the expectations we bring in our suitcases. Sounds as though it was worthwhile in many ways, despite the frustrations, and you certainly can't beat the price!

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