Working closely with anyone gives you useful insight into her performance. This is especially true of your boss, who you likely see in a variety of settings: client meetings, presentations, one-on-ones, negotiations, etc. But
even if that insight could be helpful to your boss, is it your place to share it
with her? Could you be putting your job or your relationship at risk by telling
her what you see or by giving her frank feedback? Giving your boss feedback,
commonly called upward feedback, can be a tricky process to master. However, if
offered correctly and thoughtfully, your insight can not only help your boss,
but also improve your working relationship.

What the Experts Say
John Baldoni, a leadership consultant, coach, and author of Lead Your Boss: The Subtle Art of Managing Up says that leadership is all about perception; if leaders do not know how they
are perceived, their performance will suffer. However, the higher up in an
organization a leader sits, the harder it is to get honest feedback. James
Detert, Assistant Professor at the Cornell Johnson Graduate School of Management
and author of the Harvard Business Review article "Why Employees Are Afraid to Speak" and "Speaking Up to Higher-Ups: How Supervisors and Skip-Level
Leaders I..." says, "Over reliance on the chain of
command prevents leaders from hearing the unvarnished truth." Your input can
help your boss see herself as others see her and help her to make critical
adjustments in her behavior and approach. However, giving this type of feedback
requires careful thought; here are some principles to keep in mind.

The relationship comes first
The ability to give and receive upward feedback, like any form of feedback, is dependent on the relationship between you and your boss. Without trust, the feedback will be
impossible to receive. Before giving feedback, you need to gauge whether your
boss will be open to what you have to say. If you know that your boss is
unreceptive to feedback, is likely to react negatively, or if you have a rocky
relationship, it's better not to say anything. However, as Baldoni points out,
"If your boss is open-minded and you have a good relationship, you owe him the
straight talk." As with any feedback, your intentions must be good and your
desire to help your boss should supersede any issues you may have between you.

Wait to be invited, or ask to be invited?
Even if you have a great relationship, launching into unsolicited feedback is ill-advised. As Detert says, "General advice on how to be a better boss is tough to give
unless you're asked for it." Ideally, your boss has asked for your input and
made clear what would be helpful to her in terms of feedback. Your boss may
disclose her development areas and ask you to keep an eye out for certain
behaviors that she is working on. Baldoni says, "In a perfect world, it is a
manager's responsibility to make it safe to give feedback."

However, Baldoni acknowledges that in the real world this may not always happen. If your boss does not directly request feedback, you can ask if she would like feedback. This is often most easily done in the context of a new
project or new client. You can say something like "Would it be helpful to you
for me to give you feedback at certain points in this project?" or "I'm likely
to have a unique perspective on what we're doing, would you like some feedback
about how the project is going?" Again, these questions must be presented with
the best of intentions. Since it is her job to give you feedback, avoid sounding
like you want to give feedback in a vengeful way. Demonstrate your willingness
to help her improve.

Focus on your perspective
It can be tempting when your boss is open to feedback, to imagine all the things you would do if you were in his position. However, your feedback should focus on what you are seeing or
hearing, not what you would do as the boss. Baldoni recommends that you "frame
feedback in form of your perceptions." He suggests saying things such as "I
noticed at that meeting that you came across as bullying." By sharing your
perspective you can help your boss to see how others are seeing him. This can be
invaluable to a leader who may be disconnected from people in the lower
ranks.

Focusing on your view also means realizing the limitations of your standpoint. You need to remember that you are seeing only a partial picture of your boss's performance and you may not appreciate or realize the demands on
him. Detert says, "Subordinates by and large don't have a full appreciation of
the reality of their bosses." Give feedback that is reflective of what you can
see and avoid presuming what he is faced with. Remember that good feedback rules
still apply. Your feedback should be honest and data-driven. Open with
affirmative feedback and give constructive feedback with suggestions for
improvement. Avoid accusations. "People react much, much better to specifics
than to generalities," Detert says. So use details to back up your points.

When your boss bites back
No matter how carefully or thoughtfully you've prepared and delivered your feedback, your boss may get upset or be defensive about the feedback you've given. If you were asked for the
feedback, Baldoni says you should hold your ground and explain that you were
doing what was asked of you. Sometimes reframing the feedback can help. Detert
urges that feedback is more easily received if you "frame it in terms of what
your boss cares about." He says, "You can point out specific ways that specific
behaviors are inhibiting the boss from achieving his goals."

Gauge her reaction to determine how she likes to receive feedback and what topics are out of bounds. Perhaps she doesn't want to hear feedback about her communication style or a certain high-pressure initiative. Rather than clamming
up after a negative reaction, take the opportunity to check in with her about
what would be useful going forward.

When in doubt, hold your tongue
If you're not sure if your boss wants to hear feedback or if the subject of the feedback is a sensitive one, it's almost always better to not speak up. There is no reason to
risk your working relationship or your job, unless you feel your boss's behavior
is putting the company or your unit in jeopardy. Instead, look for opportunities
to give anonymous feedback, such as a 360 degree feedback
process.

Principles to Remember
Do:

• Be certain your boss is open and receptive to feedback before speaking up
• Share with her what you are seeing and hearing in her organization or unit
• Focus on how you can help her improve, not on what you would do if you were boss

Don't:

• Assume your boss doesn't want feedback if she doesn't request it — ask if she would like to hear your insight
• Presume you know or appreciate your boss's full situation
• Give feedback as way to get back at your boss for giving you negative feedback